The Psychology of Hate, Violence, and Social-Divisiveness

The 2016 findings of American Psychological Association’s Stress in America Survey revealed a concerning source of stress for Americans:  political change.  Findings of this report suggest that most of us were stressed because of this issue.  Specifically, 66% of the population surveyed reported feeling that the future of the nation is a source of stress, whereas 57% experience stress pertaining to the current political climate.

Indeed, if you consider what is reflected in our popular media, there is plenty to be stressed about.  Public shootings, bomb threats, and the reemergence of hate groups on a national scale are frightening developments that seem to be looming always in the back of our collective awareness.  

Image from Times Magazine- community members at Partridge Church, Parkland FL, 2/15/19

 On one hand, we have never been more diverse as a people!  And yet, it would appear that we have become more hateful, more violent, and more divisive in the past couple years. 

Are we really this divided?   And how does the perception of increased social discord impact upon us each individually, at a psychological level?

Although theses threats may appear always “out there”, if we hope to overcome this political climate, it requires each one of us to take a look in the mirror and consider our own personal response to others, and how our own thoughts, feelings, and responses may be implicated in big scheme of things.   After all, the hate, violence, and divisiveness that mars our social experience, is always enacted in the end by individuals upon other individuals.

For this reason, we offer some perspective on the psychology of hate, violence, and social divisiveness, along with some views on ways EACH of us can promote a more loving, accepting, and socially connected experience with others.

The Brain’s Search for Difference

One of the factors at play with regards to the psychology of hate, violence, and social divisiveness may actually be designed to keep us safe from threat.  As creatures of habit that benefit from routine and predictability, the human brain is organized to seek out and take particular note of things that are unusual or different.  Consider, for instance, the adaptive benefit of noticing differences in our environment such as the sight of a broken lock and doorway or an unfamiliar unattended dog roaming in your neighborhood.

Whereas things that are familiar, common, and expected may not cause us to pay them any notice, things that are different require our attention and elicit a visceral response that places us on edge and cause us to pay attention.  Our instinct to protect ourselves and survive kick in when something unexpected or different is presented, which cause us to approach said object with caution.

That these processes occur to us all is inevitable.  However, the very same processes that occur to seek out differences and potential threats in our physical environment also occur with regards to our appraisal of our social environment.  Ultimately, just as we may become suspicious and on guard when confronted with a new insect or an unidentified object in the street, we may experience the same apprehension or suspicion when confronted with an individual who looks different or  whose culture, dress, or language is unfamiliar to us.  Added to this suspicion, may be the weight of misinformation, negative or unfavorable descriptions of members of different groups, or negative personal experiences with representatives of a certain group which may then carry over into promoting feelings of fear and threat.  What’s more, is that since differences tend to be experienced as of potential risk to us, we actually SEEK OUT ways that others are different from us, so as to be able to navigate potential risks and defend against them.  Related to this, we may overvalue the significance that differences play in matters, and construct narratives around how the differences themselves between ourselves and others remain salient or significant.  After all, they are different and different is…. well, different.

Therefore, a world of increased diversity, may constitute by default, a world of greater differences and potential threat.

Feelings of Inferiority

Alfred Adler believed feelings of inferiority were behind prejudice

Another culprit in the psychology of hate, violence, and social divisiveness are what Vienna Psychologist Alfred Adler (1870-1937) referred to as feelings of Inferiority.   Adler’s views on inferiority have already played into our nation’s history with regards to social divisiveness and segregations. The findings of the the landmark ruling Brown v. the Board of Education that effectively ended segregation in the schools referenced research done Clark and Clark that concluded that acts of segregation had contributed to negative self view in African-Americans.  The Clarks’ initial research was based off of Adler’s theory of inferiority that suggested people develop feelings of inferiority in response to certain forms of adversity.

According to Adler, we all experience feelings of inferiority, to some degree, through the course of childhood with certain circumstances causing some of us to experience disproportionate degrees of feelings of inferiority throughout life time.  

Although experiences of racism constitute one set of circumstances that contribute to feelings of inferiority, Adler believed that racism and other forms of prejudice were themselves expressions of feelings of inferiority in perpetrating population.   

Ultimately, our feelings of inferiority contort our way of looking at others, and lead some to seek out others to blame and or lord over in displays of superiority.  The motive of hate groups to diminish the value of others is one example that feelings of inferiority may manifest into acts of superiority.

However, these very same processes can be enacted in any one of us, seeking to displace our own injured egos through dismissive and derogatory treatment of others.   Ultimately, feelings of inferiority can be assumed to underly a great variety of hateful, violent acts, which serve to fracture and divide us.  

Social Transactions

In the world of psychology, a transaction can be defined as a social exchange or interaction between two entities in which which the actions of one individual stimulates a response in the other.  We experience this in daily life whenever someone says “good morning” and we  feel compelled to say “good morning” in response.    

Social transactions occur on a daily basis, however, the exchanges and interactions we experience in our formative years that are most significant to us.  These set the stage for how interactions may be anticipated to transpire in years to come and often serve to define our subsequent social interactions.

When circumstances in early childhood have been problematic and leave us with unresolved needs or issues, we can carry these into future social relationships, and seek to rectify our past grievances or concerns in existing circumstances.

Under such circumstances, we transpose upon the present, the issues, concerns, and circumstances of our past situation.  As such, the issue at hand is not accepted for what it is, and we unconsciously transpose past emotional baggage onto the current situation.

This error in responding lies at the base of many hateful and violent acts, and serves only to perpetuate divisiveness through turning others into an object of displacement and a living metaphor for what who or what wronged us before.  What’s worse is this manner of behavior tends not to resolve past grievances within the individual, but only results in reengagement of past dysfunctional responding, and ultimately serves to elicit from others confirming behavior that justifies the individual’s actions and results in a self-fulfilling sequence of events.  After all, when we treat others as an enemy, they respond like the enemy!   

Since none of this is based on “reason”, the emotionally-driven exchange that occurs during these encounters adds “evidence” to the emotional brains that perpetuate mutual suspicion, hostility, and blame.

In the most severe example of this, we might find an emotionally disturbed and affected individual carrying over past grievances into present day encounters.  Since no amount of retribution upon a current entity can possibly undo the hurt and anguish and betrayal perpetuated by another, usually emotionally  more significant relationship, the outward hostility is reaffirming at some level but insufficient in affording true resolution with the past, now forgotten, transgressor. Consequently, an individual’s display of anger is reinforcing while also begetting further displays with further victimizations as a consequence!

  In this way, interactions others become embodied metaphors for disembodied emotional pain, hurt, and confusion.   

 On the extreme end, we have a shooter “targeting” innocent lives which carry a deep, private, though under-considered significance for the shooter.  However, on a more relatable basis, we can see hostility and hurtful language on a social media platform directed at known or unknown others, in a heated exchange about politics, religion, or social issues.   In this way, our “rightness” is not so much determined by the fact that the other person “deserves” our hostility, but simply that “somebody does”, and that we are not “wrong” for feeling the way we do or for what we believe, in the most general sense.  That an individual may be perpetuating an unjustified act against another living person  with beliefs, feelings, and rights never factors into such interactions.  

What WE can do in the Promotion of Love, Acceptance, and Social Connection

Given what we have considered here about some of the underlying psychological mechanisms of hate, violence, and social divisiveness, we leave the reader with things YOU can do to promote love, acceptance, and social connection, at least in your corner of the world.

To Get Past Differences: Seek Similarities and Develop Familiarity 

Given what we considered here about the brain’s search for difference- we offer the following recommendations to help move us beyond this response, in our attempt to seek out similarities and healthy social contact with others

• Diversify your life- Make it a priority to seek out people that are “different” in some way and identify safe ways to gain direct exposure and understanding of people or groups that may seem overtly different from yourself.
• Identify similarities-  When encountering a group or individual that seems outwardly different- take time to seek out similarities between yourself and the other group.  Recalling basic human similarities can be enormously impactful in such circumstances.  Reminding yourself that “this individual feels pain, love, and loss, also” may help you take comfort in simple commonalities that we can loose sight of in the moment.
• Find your reflection in others- Finally, the use of empathic reflection may allow us to discover how we might be perceived by others.  Recall, when confronted with somebody who’s manner of dress, physical appearance, or mannerisms are unfamiliar or “foreign” to you, your own dress, physical appearance, and mannerisms are often EQUALLY foreign to them!  In this way, consider yourself confronted with a mirror in the other person, who is likely to be anticipating the SAME or SIMILAR experience in their encounter with you, as you are experiencing in your encounter with them!

To Circumvent Feelings of Inferiority: Value and Encourage Others 

Feelings of inferiority cause us to devalue and discourage others, and to prop ourselves up by doing so.  Such patterns do not actually better our disposition, but seek instead to only lessen the status or value of others.  The following recommendations may be considered then in hopes to diminish feelings of inferiority in ourselves and in others.

• Find the value in what others offer- Especially when disagreeing with someone, it is helpful to identify the basic value and merit of the other’s position as why this situation may matter to them. Acknowledge, "I can tell this is important to you and it appears to me that you must really value ______!".  By acknowledging and identifying others' basic values, sets the tone for a more mutual dialogue and to encourage the other in ways that invite favorable reciprocity.  
• Recall your own value- Just as important in identifying the value of others is being able to recall the validity and worth of your own perspective and contribution.   The sense that we often have of being diminished in value or lacking of significance is its own form of distorted experience that, ironically, often leaves us diminishing the value of others.  Take time to center yourself around your own perspectives and contributions and own the value of your own contributions.  
• Have the courage to be imperfect - The pursuit of personal growth and improvement relies not in identifying other people’s faults, errors, or deficits, but in  taking ownership in our own.  Therefore, one powerful antidote to the psychology of hate, violence, and social divisiveness, is simply to look for and take in stride the quirks that make you human, and those things that you can work on and improve!  And when you do make a mistake, acknowledge it!  Nothing builds character like an owned mistake.

To Navigate Social Transactions: Take Responsibility for Yourself!

Social Transactions are complicated business, because they involve not only the two people interacting in any given situation, but also the sum total of all the other social interactions each person had with a broad and expansive range of others!  In this way, we are not left only with challenge of understanding the individuals responding to the current circumstance, but also considering this moment in a stream of moments involving so many others.  Since there is no way to account for the other person’s past social experience, we need to take inventory on our own private, personal experience, and how WE tend to engage with others.

• Cultivate Self Awareness-  A good first step in developing healthier social interactions, is to develop awareness around one's own “programed responses” with hopes of gaining insight into how past needs or issues may carry into current interactions.   Take note whenever you have a strong emotional response to something or when you find yourself becoming fixated on something someone else did or said that has become upsetting.  Now consider; "When else might I have felt/behaved this way?", "What might my responses say about me and my own personal history?", and "How can I take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings in light of all of this?".  In this way, we can take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings, and avoid transposing our own issues on to others.
• Separate "the Other” from “Others”-     When you DO  find yourself responding in old familiar ways to new situations, take a break and consider your responses.  What might be going on inside of you?  Consider, who might you really be upset at and how is this current individual/situation different from that one?  Might your response here suggest you need to establish some manner of closure over a different relationship or situation altogether?  By being able to identify these matters, we can liberate ourselves to some degree from our history, and approach the current situation more fairly, honestly, and effectively. 
• Get help!- If you find yourself “repeating the past” and re-experiencing the same negative outcomes with people in the world around you, this might be a sign that it is time to go in and find someone to help understand your responses, and to address whatever past relationships or experiences may still be holding you hostage. When it seems like the whole world is against you, take a moment to consider a difficult but ultimately lighter reality; “maybe its just me!”.  Psychotherapy is now a much more accessible resource now than it has been ever before.  Take it from us, you are worth it!

Blogger Ben Rader, Psy.D. w/ mother Luann who taught him to care for others.